Will you blow on my dice?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize