There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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