ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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