Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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