Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize