That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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