Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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