Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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