well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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