She is in my trunk
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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