seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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