She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize