gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize