When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize