dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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