I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
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