Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize