if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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