Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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