Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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