We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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