The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You're like the curious george of whores
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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