you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize