So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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