Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize