it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize