God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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