i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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