Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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