You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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