Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize