So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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