I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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