my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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