it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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