I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just crazy horny about you
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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