so explain again why im purple
no
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
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bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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