Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
What a dumb baby whore.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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