I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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