I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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