I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
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