I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I need to stop coming to work sober
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
NoShamevember. You game?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize