last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
