she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
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why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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