I love black thongs
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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