a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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