I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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