i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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