the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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