I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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