if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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